17th

I have an extraordinary Dad. He wants to be the one who will drive me to school. He calls me different names like “kulit” and “darna” which makes me feel special.

We were always together, hand in hand.

I love sitting in his lap or being carried by him.

In playschool, whenever I see his car every dismissal, I jump for joy and run towards him then he would give me my milk and drive home or sometimes he would bring me to Mcdonald's or Jollibee to play before going home.

We have a sari-sari store filled with goodies back then. I loved everything! Candies, ice creams, soft drinks. Wow! But my dad would always tell me that it’s bad for me. I didn’t understand why.

Every time I’m bruised, my dad would wipe my tears and divert my attention.

He takes me to round trips just to put me to sleep.

He bought me a little tent where I would spend my whole day playing with my dolls until I fall into sleep. When I wake up, I’m already in bed.

One day, I saw him planting seeds. I asked him what he was doing. He told me that he’s planting trees for me to climb someday.

He wanted me to study in assumption so I did and he was so happy. He has big dreams for me.

That was the year that we rushed him in the hospital. I was not aware of what’s happening. All I know is that he has brain cancer and that he would be okay soon.

The hospital became our second home.

He asked me to recite “Little Boy Blue” (which our teacher told us to memorize for an oral recitation) and I saw how proud he is.

September 4, 1996. When my brother and I arrived at the hospital, we saw that our dad’s oxygen tank was outside his room. So I asked him if he thinks tatay could go home because they removed his oxygen already. He was silent and slowly opened the door. I was surprised to see that every one in the room was crying. I was lost for a moment.

He was gone.

For 16 years, I longed for a father not realizing that I never lost him.

I was blessed to have him as my earthly father. He may not be here but I know he's watching over us, making sure we're doing okay.

Like Tatay, God also wants to be involved in our lives. He wants us to walk with him hand in hand, to sit in his lap and to carry us when we can’t handle our struggles anymore. He wipes our tears and calms our hearts. He puts us to sleep. He planted desires in our hearts that grows every day. He has big dreams for us. He gives us more than any earthly father could give. 

Close your eyes, empty your minds, your hearts and feel it.

Happy 17^th Tatay!

We miss you so much.

We love you forever.