The Heart of a Man and Woman

Do you watch “Please be careful with my heart”? There was one scene where Maya asked her gay friend why men do not say “I love you” often. He told her that it is really in their nature and laughed about it.

Women complain about men; Men complain about women.

Science tells us that opposite poles attract, same poles repel but why do men and women end up with misunderstanding, break-ups and divorce?

We should understand the hearts of each other, our roles in each other’s lives and what we need in order to have a lasting relationship. I learned this from a retreat & I think it's worth sharing. :)

The Heart of A Woman

“Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life” Proverbs 4:23

In our hearts, God planted basic desires that not only echo our feminine design but also reveal the desires of God’s own heart.

3 Core Desires

1. The desire to be romanced

Women long to be pursued, desired and fought for.

2. The desire to plan an irreplaceable role in a great adventure

“It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a suitable partner for him” Gen 2:18

Women want an adventure that is shared.

3. The desire to unveil beauty

“How beautiful you are, how pleasing my love, my delight” Songs 7:7

God already created us beautiful as we are. What remains is for us to see it, and then to reveal it to the world.

Most of our pains came from what the worldly lies that tells us, our desires cannot be met.

We have receive both direct and indirect messages that we are:

-not worth pursuing

-not needed

-not beautiful

As a result of this lies, we cover up for our inadequacy by being either two types of woman: dominating or desolate.

3 common problems with women in a relationship that leads to break-up:

1. They are insecure that leads to jealousy

2. They want to be assured all the time

3. They are too emotional

In short, “It’s all about me.”

We become that kind of women because of the saying, “Trust your instincts” that we give in to our negative thoughts and doubt men.

What we don’t know is that the evil one will always find ways to attack us because we are more relational by nature and we have the ability to improve and build up the lives of our brothers and sisters.

But we are not meant to stay in pain and our desires are meant to meet. Jesus points out the only way as being through him and his truth.

The Heart of A Man

3 common problems with men in a relationship that leads to break-up:

1. They go into a relationship without clear intention

2. They take women for granted

3. They look for what’s lacking

“And who do you think you are

Running around leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart,

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul”

Most songs written by women are about the man who broke their hearts into pieces. You could feel their pain, sadness and bitterness.

These days, you would hear women say that, “all men are the same”.

God designed Man’s heart for Love, Adventure and for battle.

·      Man’s heart is called to pursue and love woman to ultimately reveal her mystery

·      His heart for adventure invites him to share this adventure with woman in a relationship that allows her to play her irreplaceable role.

·      His heart for battle calls him to fight for his beauty to rescue: woman

·      God made man’s desires compliment women’s and vice versa. A woman in the presence of a good man loves being a woman. A man in the presence of a good woman loves being a man. It is exactly as God planned.

Without God in their lives or without fully submitting themselves to God, men would not be content. They would “run around leaving scars”.

In allowing man and woman to have complimentary desires, God makes one support the other and our roles are played well and lives are enjoyed to the fullest.